I have been quite surprised by the anxiety and animosity that has been swirling around in this postelection week. Both with my family and with friends, what could have been a surprisingly exciting time for celebration (Obama, according to the Associated Press, won by over 8 million votes) has turned into a post-win funk. This should have been a time for gratuitious champagne drinking and general deep sleeping at night. Instead, the Facebook/home faceoff has begun.
First, let me speak to family political affiliations. It just so happens that I'm the child of two retired military professionals; both raised by lifelong Democrats but both of whom vote Republican (one for military reasons, one for who knows what). My sister is a mixed-bag of political affiliations: she once worked for the Dukakis campaign, and she's both voted for Gore and Bush Jr. My brothers are staunch Republicans, probably because of their father's politics. And then there's me: a very liberal liberal who admitedly voted for Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Kerry, and Obama. I've even gone the red route on occasion.
So why are family relationships so tenuous during election season? It can all be summed up by law student Megan Bode, in "After You Vote, Please Leave Politics at the Polls" for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. The honeymoon phase of trying to convince our partners, aunts, cousins, or pals that their candidate isn't the right one fades, and we are left with just bitterness, anxiety, and stress. My sister called me to explain her vote to me on Wednesday morning. I had just had a stunningly long day at the polls the day before, and so the call (and the admission of which candidate she chose) was surprising. Then came the litany of reasons why. Of course, I didn't agree with her explanations about foreign policy and general experience (because if I did, I would have voted for McCain, too). I wondered why she was unloading so much on me. Did it really matter? Then came the zinger. She said, "You'll just have to get over your dissapointment in me." Was it dissapointment, or shock, or something else? I still haven't tied an emotion to it. It was too late to convince her otherwise: she had already voted, and the election done. Yet this revelation, more than my brother's snarky text that he'd jokingly "decided Obama--psyche!" really got to me. I guess I had expected more.
One would think that once the election is over, that the feelings of anger would subside. Not likely if you were to read Jezebel's Online's article "How Facebook Status Updates Are Ruining Your Post-Election Social Life" by a blogger that goes by "Hortense." I never realized how much animosity I still harbored when I would view friends from college or high school or my last job posting comments on the social networking site about bunkering down in Idaho, running out to get a gun, the Democrats taking everyone's 401K, or what a charlatan Obama is. Really? Has it gotten that bad? Obama seems to be coming off in some of these anti-Facebook groups as a communist or the antichrist (if you can believe it, there are at least 5 Facebook groups touting this one). Of course, there is free speech, and I'm sure there have been many who have also accused Bush of being the bearer of Armegeddon as well, but I wonder: is all this displaced anger going someplace?
I can't be alone: almost 20,000 views of the Facebook faceoff from the Jezebel site show that the topic is timely. For those of you with Facebook, have you almost lost your cool with a family member or friend who has been I-moting (Internet emoting) politically spurious comments that leave you speechless, uncomfortable, or even crazed? What do we do about it? Confront our family members and friends? De-family/friend them? Ignore the behavior? This is a question I don't know how to respond to. Any feedback would be helpful!
2 comments:
I don’t have a Facebook but I do have a family, a very opinionated family.
I left my roots when I was 17 to experience the world. I was sure aliens had left me on my mother’s doorstep because of the difference in my family’s outlook to life and my own. For years I returned to the land of my childhood, only to get into screaming arguments with ignorant siblings or to leave with my mouth totally drop open in shock of their behavior, values, and speech.
Now after an absence of 20 years I return to observe and enjoy, just as one might listen to a Tennessee Williams play. Playwrights don’t make these colorful characters up. People like this really exist and it sounds like you are genetically surrounded by them. Just hold on and try to enjoy the ride.
As for the president bashing, have you been asleep for the last twenty years. There are those out there who are going to nit pick everything he does. For every twenty great things, they will spin the one mistake to the size of a mountain.
I don’t mind telling you that I voted for McCain. I try to vote logically and weighing the good with the bad. Having said that though I really like and admire the man I think Obama is and feel truly blessed we will have him for our president. In the past election I thought we were voting between good and better. My husband says I’m a bit of a “Pollyanna” and tend to only see the good in people. Then to him, I quote from the movie (of the same title) “If you look for the bad in people, you will surely find it”.
Don’t let the bastards get you down!
Thanks for the feedback, Louise! And yes, I've been asleep for 1/3rd of the last 8 years (I bet you have too). :)
You know, I guess I'm just an optimist at heart? Thanks for the clear talking-to. I just sometimes need to realize that people don't vote for my approval. They generally vote to do what's best for themselves. Nice wake-up call!
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